Chaos Rules Too Much

My house is loud and chaotic.  Three kids, a dog and all the noise they make is only part of it.  We are a family of yellers.  Unfortunately, I'm not talking about the color.  With the exemption of Mike, although he will raise his voice when necessary, the kids and I seem to always yell about something.  If someone is aggravating the others, there is yelling.  If someone doesn't get their way, there is yelling.  If a child is trying to parent one or more of the other children, there is yelling.  We yell at the dog.  We yell when we are mad.  We yell when we want something.  We yell when we don't want to do something.  I yell from one room to get someone from another room, even if they are at the other end of the house.  We are also very critical of and negative towards each other.  It has become such a part of our family that we don't even realize when we do it. This is just not acceptable.

While praying this morning, I apologized to God for all the yelling we do, my critical spirit when it comes to my kids, and how it has bled over to how my kids react and respond to one another.  God speaks to us in a still, quiet voice and that is how we should speak to those around us.  Not knowing how to change myself and my family, I prayed for direction and guidance, along with a HUGE dose of wisdom.  God showed me that instead of pointing out all the negative things the kids do, point out the good things and the not-so-perfect tries and reward them.  He reminded me of the marble jar in my cabinet.  Every time I saw the kids cooperating with each other, doing something nice, talking to each other without sarcasm or venom, etc., I will put a marble in a jar labeled with their name.  At the end of the day, I will total up all the marbles in their respective jars and keep a running total.  When they get to a set amount (say 30 or 50), we will redeem them for somewhere they want to go like Chuck E. Cheese or McDonald's.  Now, if I see or hear them not getting along, I will give them a chance to correct it.  If there is still a problem, I will remove a marble and they have to do a job from my Job Jar.  (The Job Jar is filled with jobs I want done around the house like wash the backdoor windows, clean the walls beside the backdoor, wipe down the baseboards in different rooms, clean the hall bathroom, put up dishes, clean out the microwave, etc.  I stopped using this jar a couple of years ago because the kids would BEG to pick out a job so it wasn't much of a punishment.)

After I got everything ready, I set the kids down and explained what we were doing and why.  So far, there has been a good response.  I have had to get on to the kids a couple of times but not as often as usual.  The volume around here has gone down considerably.  The kids are getting along much better.  I know this is something I will have to stay on top of.  The kids are going to revert back to their old habits and so will I.  But change has got to come so I am hoping I can remain diligent and keep trying.  Kids do not need to be raised in a house full of chaos.  They get enough of it from the world around them.  They don't need it at home too.  This should be a place of shelter, a place to get away from the chaos and find peace. 

Isaiah 26:12a  LORD, you establish peace for us...
Isaiah 32:17  The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.
Ephesians 4:3  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Proverbs 16:7  Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife.
Proverbs 3:17  Her (wisdom) ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace.
Psalm 34:14  Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.
Colossians 3:15  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.
Hebrews 12:14  Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
1 Peter 3:11  They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it.
Isaiah 26:3 (HCSB)You will keep in perfect peace the mind [that is] dependent [on You], for it is trusting in You.

Not Listening

Ever had one of those days when EVERYTHING you did (or didn't do), touched or said went horribly wrong?  That was my day yesterday.

The kids were suppose to help me around the house with some chores (plus their everyday chores) AND get along with each other.  Their reward for doing it would be to see CARS 2.  Monday, I told my kids about it but wanted to wait until Nathan was here so he could go with us.  My bunch helped out and were relatively good Monday.

Tuesday was a completely different story.  No one wanted to listen.  The kids wanted to do their own thing and did not get along.  I was constantly having to get onto someone.  Like Monday, they had their everyday chores to complete (get dressed, brush their teeth, make their beds, put up their pajamas, and generally pick up any mess).  They also had to unload the dishwasher, reload the dishwasher, finish folding clothes and putting theirs up, pick up the living room and sweep the kitchen.  It should have taken them two hours max (and that was if they took lots of breaks).

The movie was going to start at 1 p.m.  At 12:30, I still had not gotten a shower (because I was busy being a referee), the dishes still hadn't been done, the clothes needed to be put up and the kids still needed to eat lunch.  I know I should have told them we weren't going but to be honest, I was looking forward to two hours of relative peace and quiet.  So, instead, I ignored God's promptings to stay home. We finally got out the door at 12:50 after I had a quick shower and only one child ate lunch.  The line for tickets was long so by the time we got to the front, the 1 o'clock showing was sold out.  The next showing was at 1:35 but was in 3-D.  The problem with that was I wasn't planning on spending the extra $15 for 3-D glasses.  I know I should have turned around and left and brought them back another day but I was being stubborn.  (The next 2-D showing was at 4 p.m. but we had plans last night.)  Instead of listening to God prompting me again to stay home, I paid the extra and went inside.  Snacks at the concession stand cost almost $29 for four kids combos and a pretzel and Coke for me.  The movie wasn't crowded and we were able to get some great seats towards the front.  The kids did great during the movie, but towards the end, each one had to go to the bathroom (one child had to go three times!).  When the credits started rolling, I wanted to wait around because Pixar usually has something extra at the end.  That's when the complaining started again.  And, wouldn't you know, Pixar didn't have anything extra!!  Bummer!!

We exit the theater and start out towards the van.  Next thing I know, Hannah and Nathan take off in a dead run across the parking lot for the van!  Will and Andrew take off after them before I could stop them.  Once we get home, the fighting starts again.  But this time, I had more than my fill of it and did something really stupid.  Instead of listening to God to separate the kids and put them all in timeout, I started yelling.  I also started arguing with my mom over it.  By the time Mike got home and Mel came to get Nathan, I had reached the knot at the end of my rope and was hanging on for dear life.

All throughout the day, God spoke to me in His still, quiet voice.  Instead of stopping what I was doing and listening to what He had to say, I kept on barreling through my day making an absolute mess of it.  God let me finish doing all the damage I could do, then helped by picking me up and holding me tight.  Listening to God is hard to do but I hope I can become better at it.  My life would be so much more peaceful!!